Friendly Human

There’s a Tibetan word I really like, “shenpa.” It loosely translates as “attachment” or getting hooked by something, and Pema Chodron likes to noodle on it.

Shenpa is those times when someone (either real or imagined) criticizes you in a way that makes you want to freeze up. Something just tightens inside of you and you’d rather do anything, even go get a haircut, than ship on the project. We all have things that strike to our core and make us “nope” in the face of fear. The real danger is that if we follow them, they force us to start equating our project outcome to our value as a human.

I believe the true goal is to see the hook, the shenpa, know it’s danger, and bite it with every intention of pulling the fisherman into the water. Lean into the sore spot, and be stronger for it.

What is your shenpa? Why are you reading this instead of doing what needs to be done?

What choices are you not choosing to make that you should?

Not choosing leads to the default, and the default is boring. There isn’t a single remarkable human achievement that was created out of the default.

We’ve all seen two similar companies start in similar situations with similar services, similar prices, similar expertise, and similar marketing, but they end up in two totally different places. Think big. If your company could be any size, heal any cause, or create any product, what size, cause, or product would you tackle?

If money is your goal, and you’re spending 24 hours a day thinking about how to make a million dollars, why not spend those same 24 hours creating ways to reach 100 million dollars? Nobody gets 25 hours a day, and yet there still exist people worth 100 million dollars.

There are decisions you will make, and there are decisions you will not make. Be aware of both.

What choices are you not even aware of?

The first time I read Ron Clark’s The Essential 55, rule #39 made that little “aah ha!” chime go off in my head.

“On a field trip, compliment the place you are visiting.”

Think of all the people who have toured your space. Who left the best impression?

After the last move, my wife and I decided that we would take most of our “going out to dinner money” and re-purpose it towards making our condo the best hangout in town. It’s still a work in progress, but of all the guests who’ve crossed our threshold, two stand out the most. John Reynolds (pictured above) was one of them, but both had identical reactions. “WOW! What is this? How did you do that? This is so cool!” All with genuine wide-eyed wonder, pointing and walking the whole time. No detail was missed. Sure, most people will eventually ask about our pot rack made out of a bmx bicycle wheel, but these two didn’t wait to be told. They were present, observant, and enthusiastic. They leveraged these traits to make their host feel like a rock star.

What kind of compliments did you give your last client when touring their space? How can you use Mr. Clark’s advice to make your clients feel like rock stars?



And just for reference, this is what a bicycle wheel in the kitchen looks like:

Two years ago, a now friend, then stranger, complimented one of my shirts similar to the one pictured above. In the same breath he tried to guess the designer. I hadn’t even heard of the guy he named, but it didn’t matter. He showed a genuine interest in something that mattered to me at the time. I’ll never forget that experience.

When someone values a category, they generally make theirs stand out from the crowd. By picking up on the weird items people have, you can determine where to get the best bang for you compliment buck.

This goes beyond straight forward compliments. By picking up on the consistently unique details in people’s lives, you can gain insight into their passions. You can buy them the right gift. You can provide them with better service.

What’s weird enough about your next client to compliment?

The new site launched today. It’s gorgeous. I had absolutely nothing to do with it. If I did, it would be about a dozen rungs lower on the design-maturity ladder. Long time friend and internet marketing wizard Todd Miechiels designed it, and the genius that is Allen Moore coded an impossible layout to pixel-perfect accuracy with the elegance of a Swiss watch maker (Seriously, his code is like a Faberge egg to nerds.).

It all makes me realize how little I’ve had to do with the success of Friendly Human. Most businesses fail in their first two years, and I’ve killed a few in the past. Had I tried Friendly Human on my own, I would have given up long ago. So many people have contributed in ways of time, money, inspiration, and encouragement. If nothing else, building your own business will do three things:

• Make you fearless.
• Create deep friendships of gratitude.
• Reveal how weak you really are. (in a good way)

Thank you to all the people who have had a hand in making this company a success. I’ll always have your back.